Tough training, high anxiety

Mental Health Swims Community Engagement Manager Sarah Groves tells us about her final few weeks of training before her big Windermere swim

Windermere is just under two weeks away so by the time you read this I should hopefully have completed it! It feels surreal right now and I’ll be honest, my anxiety has been all over the place and I’ve had some tough training swims.

During one of my shorter open water sessions the weather was vile; the wind was howling, the rain pouring and the water seemed to be pulling me all over the place with waves slapping into me at every opportunity. I was in Llyn Padarn with my kayak buddy, Ian (who will be supporting me on the big day), and he was keeping a watchful eye whilst paddling through the chop.

Although I was smashing it physically, mentally I was trying to hold things together. I felt rage and panic simultaneously because I just wanted to swim but the weather was turning it into a battle, and it felt like I was losing. We were just under an hour in when I saw something yellow under the water. It was probably a plastic bag but whatever it was it sent me into a panic and I shouted that I needed to get out. Ian instructed me to hold the handle on the back of the boat and he pulled me to the shore. I cried, trying to ignore the fact we were on the opposite side of the lake and that unless I wanted a long, cold and soggy walk back, I needed to swim directly across the chop and back to the lagoons where the car and all our post-swim comforts waited.

After some motivational words from Ian and a few more sobs from me, I reluctantly dragged myself back in and swam as fast as I could across the lake, anxiety fueling every stroke. It was an experience to say the least and probably my toughest swim mentally.

Following that panicky swim, I spoke to some friends and devised a little plan in case the panic returns, be it in training or on the big day. I came up with a little phrase – I am the biggest fish in this lake – and any time I start to panic about anything, I repeat this to myself along with the usual ‘I’ve got this’. Physically, this challenge is hard, there is no doubt about that, but mentally it’s tougher than I expected.

Since then, I have had some much longer swims and they’ve been good, great even. My pace is steady, I am feeling strong and I am enjoying the longer swims more than the shorter ones, which makes me wonder if I’m ready. I don’t know what the day will hold for me, but I do know I want to enjoy the experience, whatever it brings.

Since writing this, Sarah has indeed completed her Windermere swim! Follow her adventure on Instagram @adventure_sair

Donate to Sarah’s fundraiser: givewheel.com/fundraising/6312/sarah-swims-windermere/