Love in a cold climate

Rowan Clarke finds out how cold water can pour warmth into a marriage – and into our living rooms via Jules & Greg’s Wild Swim

Conversations at the water’s edge can have a lasting impact. In that liminal space, we find ourselves sharing pearls of received wisdom, nuggets of truths, and deep thoughts that send ripples into our relationships, communities and beyond.

It’s these shared thoughts and experiences interlaced with warmth, humour and the dynamics of a long-lasting marriage that make Jules Wilson Nimmo and Greg Hemphill’s series Jules & Greg’s Wild Swim, so compelling. We spoke to them about what they learned from the cold water experiences and Scottish open water communities with whom they dipped, swam and plunged – about themselves and about each other.

Cold water therapy

In the world of outdoor swimming, we often talk about the benefits of cold water immersion for our physical and mental health. We talk about the social benefits from the communities in which we swim, but how often do we talk about the benefits for our romantic relationships?

More often than not, we swim for deeply personal reasons. In many relationships, one person swims while the other holds the towel. But, watching Jules and Greg dip, swim and plunge their way around Scotland together, you realise how brilliant cold water can be for relationships.

“I think it’s very easy for couples to say, you go and do that with your pals, and I’ll go and do my thing. And then before you know it, you have all these hobbies that don’t include the other one,” says Greg.

“So many of my girlfriend’s partners go away golfing on with the guys,” says Jules. “I think that can build up resentment in marriage if you’re the one left holding the fort, or when empty nest comes along, on your own.”

But, as we find out in the show, it’s more than having a hobby together – the experience of sharing cold water seems to bring a uniquely intense, intimate element to a relationship.

Taking the plunge

Setting the tone, the first episode of the first series begins with an extreme example of how intimate the shared experience of plunging into cold water can be.

“We were still in that giddy place of having our series commissioned series, and then suddenly we were on the way to these ice baths, full of trepidation,” says Greg.

Never having experienced anything so cold or so intense, Jules and Greg found themselves at Glasgow’s Polar Bear Club for a guided ice-bath session. This experience would not only set the tone for the series, but also highlight both the couple’s differences and their togetherness.

“I went quiet, which is opposite to my personality. I thought, the only way I can do it is if I tune in to three women beside me,” says Jules, who says that she went into ‘child mode’. “They kept talking to me really gently and checking my temperature, so I felt held by those women.”

A few metres away in his bath supported by other men, including founder of the Kenny ‘Head Ned’ Neilson, Greg went into what Jules describes as stealth mode.

“It was the breathing that got me in,” says Greg. “It was like, if I can do my breathing, I’m going to be fine.”

“Greg can do that. He’s quite like that when we’re swimming anyway – I’ll giggle and gab with the group, and he’ll go off and swim on his own,” says Jules. “I think even though it was day one, it actually shone a light on us really brightly, showing how different we are.”

While they had very separate experiences, it was afterwards that they felt a close bond.

“I didn’t enjoy the recovery at all – I was shaking for about 20 minutes, and I felt really sick, but Greg was eating a flipping pancake with Nutella on it,” says Jules. “But afterwards, we were in the van checking in with each other, that’s when our personalities came together and we were saying, that was crazy.”

Intimacy in the water

The vulnerability and intimacy of that intense ice bath experience sets a theme for the three series. We see both the couple’s shared vulnerabilities and the ways in which the swimmers they meet open up and share their stories.

“[The ice bath experience] defined the show to us. We were going to meet people to do a thing that we thought we were comfortable doing and get uncomfortable,” says Greg. “It emphasised to us that this wasn’t just going to be Jules and Greg are going to go for a wee swim and blather, it was going to be really hard.”

Each episode takes them to new locations around Scotland, where they meet groups as varied in their character as the breathtaking landscapes in which they swim. But what unites them all is the refuge and recovery that they get from the water. We watch as swimmers tell Jules and Greg incredibly moving stories about recovery from issues such as alcoholism, grief, loneliness, illness and loss.

“I know Greg won’t mind me saying this, but we felt a little out of our depth at times,” says Jules. “Immediately after filming the pilot, we went to the pub and we were like, what we doing? We’re not psychologists. Are we going to be able to cope with this?”

After reassurance from their director that they weren’t there to be therapists, they realised that they could open up too, sharing their own experiences of parenthood, aging, menopause, loss and friendship.

“We went into this process thinking, if we’re going to ask people to open up to us, then we need to be open with them as well,” says Greg. “Normally, when you’re doing TV you’re at your best. But, with this, we’re in our bathers, hair is all matted and we didn’t give a shit.”

The way that the shared vulnerability in the water truly levels presenters and participants is the show’s quiet power.

“It meant that when people came to see us, we weren’t there with our microphones all ready to present, “ says Greg. “I think that helped people open up to us – they knew we weren’t there to go, look at all these loonies, we’re coming at it from an open minded and open hearted place.”

The power of community

The openness, bonding and friendships that we see on the screen is infinitely relatable, reflecting our own experiences in outdoor swimming communities. But what do Jules and Greg think makes cold water swimming so uniquely bonding?

“I think because you’re all concentrating on then you taking off your dry robes and getting into that water together, the chat takes care of itself,” Jules says. “The water brings stuff out in people, and fast forwards you getting to know them.”

Greg agrees. “I think there’s this incredible kindness and support network, a little bit of hippie dippiness with the moon and the tides, and keeping each other safe,” he says. “It brings the best out in people. If somebody’s got an issue and they feel like talking about it, they’ll do that in a wild swimming group.”

Jules and Greg’s show not only highlights what they’ve discovered in their own swimming community, but also that outdoor swimming is quite unlike any other social activity.

“Think about the competitive element and how important that is to so many gatherings,” says Greg. “If you take that element away, you’re left with a community that wants to support each other. And then, of course, there’s the euphoria when you come out the water, kind of like drugs without the drugs, or alcohol without the alcohol.”

Home and away

Able to see the Firth of Forth from their window, it was Jules who first discovered the power of cold water during lockdown.

“An actress friend of mine, Dawn, lives down in Whitstable, and she was doing it. I was watching her videos and looking amazing,” she says. “We can see the sea out of our window, and she said, get in it. And so I tried it. Greg would watch me and he said that he could see a change in me.”

“It took Jules a while to convince me at first, but once she did, I was so grateful,” says Greg. “The reluctance disappeared almost overnight, and I could see why she was so addicted to it.”

“One day he said, I’ll come down with you and spot you,” says Jules. “And then that was him, the usual – he gets hooked on something I start.”

Soon, Greg became the only man in a group Jules’ had joined near Glasgow called Soulful Sundays.

“It was all women, and then Greg would come down,” says Jules. “But he just fitted in and got on with it. And then I think, kind of selfishly, he started to get a buzz out of it for himself. That made him want to do it more.”

“Yeah, and also it was a really nice thing for the two of us to do together,” says Greg.

To outsiders, getting into freezing cold water might seems like a very strange way to strengthen your marriage. But, it’s clear that those intense bonds Jules and Greg experienced while filming their show is present in their own swimming community and in their marriage.

“You’ve got to make a concerted effort in your marriage to do something together,” says Jules. “When we used to go on date nights, we would just sit and talk about the kids. Now, when we go for a swim, all we’ll talk about is the water and how we feel.”

Jules & Greg Wild Swim is available to stream on BBC iPlayer