Space to pause and reflect

Swimming and walking in nature can both be transformative experiences, helping us to pause and reflect on parts of our lives that are overwhelming or limiting – the ideal opportunity, then, for a life coaching session. Jo Tinsley meets life coach and wild swim coach Tara Kelsall for a chat and a dip

“I’ve often heard wild swimmers say ‘If only I could bottle this amazing feeling’. Well. I truly believe you can, through life coaching.” I’m sitting with life coach and wild swim coach Tara Kelsall in the rather grandly named Pavilion, an open-fronted tin shelter overlooking the river at the Farleigh and District Swimming Club. 

Believed to be the world’s oldest river swimming club, this beautiful spot on the River Frome is an immediately grounding place – a simple 100m stretch of swimmable river, with a field for sunbathing, basic changing huts and the Pavilion with its wide bench and gilt-framed antique paintings. Tara and I have been talking for around ten minutes, and I already find myself opening up about a part of my life and work that’s left me feeling overwhelmed and stuck. 

Pairing a talking therapy with wild swimming makes more sense that you might at first think. In fact, wild swimming and life coaching have a lot in common. “They are both transformative, helping you to change your relationship with yourself – think increased body confidence and a sense of bravery after a wild swim – and the environment around you,” says Tara. “They also both help you reframe narratives and allow you let go of things, situations, people that are no longer serving your needs.”

Walking side by side

Over the next hour, as we sit in the Pavilion and then walk beside the gently flowing river, Tara listens attentively and asks questions to help me detangle an issue that’s been bothering me for the past four years. Although I’ve taken part in more traditional counselling settings before, I find the way that we’re walking side by side, rather than sitting opposite one another with the pressure of eye contact and the intensity of indoor lighting, less intimidating and it allows our conversation to flow and meander. Being outside encourages your nervous system to settle and relax, but I also find that it’s easier to pause, to walk for a while, listen to the sounds of wind moving through the trees or to stare at the movement of the water, before picking up on a new thread. 

The river flowing beside us also offers a wealth of metaphor and analogy, which can help you to explore things that come up as you walk. After all, a flowing river is a powerful reminder of the impermanent nature of our thoughts and experiences; just as the water in a river is never still, so too our thoughts and emotions are in constant motion. Tara tells me how, as they’ve walked beside this same river, her clients have drawn analogies with the wildlife they’ve seen, spoken about different emotional currents or how it feels like they’re swimming upstream. I realise that I, too, have used phrases like feeling inundated or describing my previous work and passion as something that increasingly became an albatross around my neck. 

Like me, many of the women Tara works with are going through some sort of change or transition. Her clients tend to come to her in their mid-life, from around 35 upwards, which can be a huge period of transition for many women; it’s a time to recalibrate. “People might be entering a new life stage, or have a sense that there’s a decision or change that wants to be made but they don’t quite know what or how,” Tara tells me. For many, simply booking in the time for an outdoor coaching session is a significant first step. “It gives a space for women to commit to themselves,” she says. 

Taking life coaching outdoors

For Tara, taking her coaching practice outside to combine it with wild water immersion felt like a natural progression. In fact, swimming outdoors has always been a part of her life, albeit one that would occasionally float in and out when she became caught up with family or work. Returning to swimming outdoors in her early 40s, after raising twins and focusing on her career, felt particularly significant. For the first time in her adult life, Tara was doing something just for herself, which didn’t revolve around her family or her work as a teacher. 

“It allowed me that time and space to be dreamy and to just let the thoughts wander in, which made me interested in my personal development and growth and really opened up that space for me.” Then came the pandemic and, as it was for many of us, her work disappeared. Discovering there was a life coach in her village, Tara booked in a session and she found it life changing. She signed up to take the diploma straight away. 

“To be able to help create that space and support for other women is so rewarding. Because I know how difficult it is, when you’re working or you’ve got children and life is just so busy, right? I think especially as women we are trained to put everyone else first. So taking time for yourself feels radical.”

Shifts and transitions

As our conversation came to a natural conclusion, it was time for our dip. “The swimming part of the session is all about transitions and thresholds,” says Tara, as we change on a patch of grass beside the weir, a moment that does seem to mark a shift in our conversation and energy. Tara tells me how she will often pause on entry to the river, to recognise this shift and any feelings her clients might want to express. 

“Depending on the client and the conversations this could be a real moment of letting go, or releasing anxiety into the water. Or we might simply get into the water and focus on our bodies, when we’ve been in our minds so much, to really enjoy the experience.”

Although I’ve been swimming outdoors for the past 20 or so years, getting into a new stretch of water always feels a little bit different, a little bit brave, which is something that can have real transferable benefits for life. “When you’re feeling low or anxious, you can come back to this experience and think ‘Hang on, I did that. I can try new things.’”

As we swim, beneath the tree roots and overhanging boughs, Tara describes her own connection with the water as invigorating, exhilarating, soothing and restorative. “When I’m in the river, I just feel this deep understanding to my core that ‘I am part of all this’. This is all me, and I’m all this.’”

Warming up with a flask of tea and a slice of cake after our swim, I feel calm and grounded, with less of the usual background hum of anxiety. One of the most valuable parts of life coaching is having an accountability partner, someone to check in with and share your progress, so I’ve booked in another session with Tara for the end of summer. I’m excited to see how things will flow and shift in the meantime.

Tara offers outdoor coaching with a wild swim or dip as an individual session for £75 or a package of six sessions for £390.